Pearsall's Tunes

One last thing before I go to bed. Was searching for something else when I came upon this review of Dizzee Rascal's first album. Check this:

Boy in da Corner fails miserably in the beat department, coming through with production on some second-day-with-the-equipment shit. Sounding like Timbaland with ADD, the drum programming seems done at random. The tracks rarely offer a melodic bassline or hook, relying instead on the unpleasant hums of “Live O” and “Seems 2 Be.” When a melody does show up, it is redundant and sparse, as on “Hold Ya Mouf” and “Jezebel,” wearing out its welcome long before the song ends. The lead single, “Fix Up, Look Sharp,” uses Billy Squier’s extremely played-out “Big Beat” and shamefully yanks his lyrics for the hook. For the most part, the problem with bad production usually stems from bad judgment. Though one may object to tracks like Puff Daddy’s “Come With Me,” an unapologetic rip-off of Led Zeppelin’s “Cashmere,” the beat at least has some semblance of that old boom-bap. Even with its creativity in question, “Come With Me” is well constructed and professional—the antithesis of the production on Boy in da Corner.

Despite a reasonable showing lyrically, Boy is, as a whole, unconventional to a fault. The album practically dares listeners to dislike it and join their parents in the ranks of uncultured music fans. This is not paradigm-shifting musical genius; it is merely unlistenable. For the sake of British hip-hop’s good name, one can only hope his recent rise to American fame will land Dizzee Rascal on some tolerable production in the future.

Wtf.

Yeah, what Dizzee really needs is some of Puffy's beats. Is this the worst album review ever written?